HAPPY BIRTHDAY WILLIAM !

Today is my little brother’s birthday - I remember William when he looked like a squirming little beetroot in the bath with me, and when we dressed him up as Father Christmas and let him loll around in the fireplace.

But now William is an accomplished author, who has penned many spine tingling tales in his youth, but more recently turned to comedy. He starred, together with black Labradors Humphrey and Dora, in the grisly horror film “The hounds of Hell”.

He is celebrated for having written the history of Yutlin Island, for which he also drew the first maps, and conducted a study of its people in great detail, down to the uniform worn by the police of this little known island. Indeed, William for many years has had a strong interest in law enforcement, quite eclipsing his earlier fascination for burglars, and at some stage wished to be a riot policeman.

William is an epicure, privileging quality over quantity when it comes to food: while uncertain about the point of many vegetables, he adores truffles and is fond of fine dining in exclusive restaurants.

His taste in music is decidedly catholic, as although I believe his all-time favourite is still J.B. Bach, he also sees the merits of 50 Cent and Iron Maiden. William is also a consummate musician, and plays both the piano and the violin to the great delight of his rather less musical family.

Perhaps William is more of an intellectual and artist than a sportsman, but this does not mean that he and I have not engaged in deadly kickboxing sessions on the lawn.

With such qualities, who could blame me for missing him? Can’t wait to see you, William – and Happy 13th Birthday!